Why Your Identity Outside Of Motherhood Matters So Much

In those first few months after becoming a mom, you start to feel like all your other identities are being stripped away. 97% of your attention goes to this baby and the other 3% is spread across your past identities like partner, friend, employee, athlete, artist, free spirit, independent woman – where you feel like you’re only showing up as a shell of your former self in any of these formerly cherished roles.

It took me a few years to figure out who I was beyond a mom. There was no going back to my old roles and identities because some just didn’t fit anymore and the ones that did still fit were dressed totally differently and felt so unfamiliar.

Yes, I was still a wife, but in an “I love you and can we not talk because I’m too tired to talk or listen” kinda way.

Yes, I was still a business owner, but in a “cut-to-the-chase, I only have time for the essentials” kinda way..

Yes, I was still a daughter, but in an “I can call you at nap time, and can only talk for 20 minutes because I also have to shower, eat lunch, prep dinner, do laundry, and clean the freaking breast pump parts” kinda way.

As I came out of this new mom fog (which took a solid 3 years, btw), I started to catch glimpses of who I was becoming:

A business owner who could move mountains with very little sleep
A daughter with healthier boundaries
A wife who could relax and have fun and talk about something other than the baby.
A friend who was ready for new friend adventures.
A colleague who was a fantastic listener and advisor.
A storyteller who could make people laugh and cry on demand.
A coach who could help people see their own power in their lowest moments.
An athlete who could dump 2 hour workouts of the past and squeeze in 20 minutes of sweat to feel like a total badass on any given day.
A student open to learning about the world and all people in new and different ways.

In this episode, I share how understanding the evolution of my identity (or rather identities) made a huge difference in my ability to show up for my life and really build a life I love that, yes, includes motherhood, but is not only about motherhood.

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